actually, I'm a sock model
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
