I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
