Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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