She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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