I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
