Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
