So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
They are going to name an STD after you.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
