She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
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