Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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