I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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