Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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