I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
