from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
