Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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