Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
So vagazzling was a success
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
