I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
