Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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