How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
