Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
