i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
