I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
