he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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