after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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