I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Randomize
