I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm sobbing to NWA
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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