worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
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Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
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I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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