He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
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Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
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can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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