This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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