Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
it was like his penis was on wheels.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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