u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Randomize
