porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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