FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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