IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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