addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
