if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
