Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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