dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
