My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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