shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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