dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
