I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
