Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
