So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
