Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
