Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
