Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
