I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
