we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
