One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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