1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
