he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
