I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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