if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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