my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
