it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize