Dual....:-)
I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
